[su_quote]We should treat all trivial things in life very seriously, and all serious things of life with a sincere and studied triviality. — Oscar Wilde[/su_quote]
The above quote is from Oscar Wilde’s play The Importance of Being Earnest, A trivial Comedy for Serious People (1895). Wikipedia’s in depth literary analysis (Ahem. #CredibleSourceAlert) tells me that The Importance… is the most trivial of Wilde’s society plays, and the only one that produces “that peculiar exhilaration of the spirit by which we recognize the beautiful and that it is precisely because it is consistently trivial that it is not ugly”. The character Algernon says in Act II, “one has to be serious about something if one is to have any amusement in life”.
I am inclined to agree with Algernon. However, I will take it one step further. Let me take a moment to illustrate.
As I rode the bus to work today, I saw a woman.
This is the woman. And her baby. Heading to the hospital for cancer treatment.
I bet many who see her pity her. I, however, do not.
Her pain, her struggle clearly evident.
I saw her strength. I saw her heart. I felt her courage. It made me stronger.
She had no choice, though. She had to show it to me. She had to show it to the world. To me, her Cancer is her earnest triviality making her beauty all the more serious. All the more real.
A dear friend asked me this week why I am writing this blog. My answer to this question is really quite simple.
We cannot get lost in the enormity and gravity of life’s situations.
This blog is my earnest, my sincere and studied triviality of Heart Failure. My lived experience. Unlike Oscar Wilde’s characters I cannot maintain a fictitious personæ shielding my pain simply for the convenience of social obligations.
Why? Because I have a choice. Because I want to show it to you. Because I need you to hope, to learn, to smile. But most importantly, because I need you to see.
February 18, 2014 @ 11:27 pm
Jill
I’m sorry to say I can relate to a lot of the things you have mentioned in your blog. I was also diagnosed with heart failure or as I prefer to say, idiopathic dilated cardiomyopathy. No one really knows what it is and it sounds less scary. I was 18 years old when diagnosed with an EF of 13%. I’m not gonna lie, it was a slight shocker. Many people never really expected me to accomplish much but that just wasn’t me. I went to college, got married, bought a house, have a job that I really enjoy and have started to attend classes again, one at a time of course. This June it will be 14 years since I was diagnosed and it’s blogs like yours that remind me to keep on going in times of frustration and the unknown. I adore the fighterness (my word) in you. It’s what keeps us going.
Carrie
March 11, 2014 @ 6:41 am
Hi Jill, I think of you often and it’s about time that I don’t hide behind hesitation anymore. I hesitated for not knowing what to say on your blog, or what to say to you that would matter. On some level, I guess it’s just plain fear. I salut you for your open honesty and for putting your experience out there to the world. I know first hand how trying to put on a mask and pretend everything is all right just digs you deeper into a serious place. I can see how living with heart failure, or any other life-threatening illness, changes your perspective to one of seeing the beautiful, feeling the fulness, and living out loud. I want to live that way. It’s just more of a challenge for the rest of us, unfortunately. I’m getting there. Slowly.
There’s a lot of hope in my heart for the perfect heart to arrive your way very soon. The world needs our Jilly!
Hug – Ali
March 11, 2014 @ 7:42 am
Hi Ali – So good to hear from you here. I know and understand the fear of not knowing what to say or do. This is, after all, serious business! I write this blog because I know that fear and I wanted all of those closest to me, and those I have yet to meet, that there isn’t any right thing to say or right thing to do. It is what it is and simply saying so gives freedom and peace of mind. Just saying anything at all is a comfort and for that I thank you from the bottom of my broken heart ;0)
Your thoughts and words mean a great deal to both Nick and I and the love and support we receive from you, Marcel, Amelie and Xavier mean more that we can possibly express.
My heart is out there the hardest part right now is being patient!
xo
J
March 13, 2014 @ 8:58 am
“An artist reveals his naked soul in his work – and so, gentle reader, do you when you respond to it.” Ayn Rand
Jill,
As you reveal your naked soul through your blog – those of us who respond to it do so in kind. Your truth touches us in ways we can relate to and also in ways we can’t even begin to comprehend. It reveals the authentic you, the true Jillianne, the one those of us fortunate enough to be close to know and cherish. We all seek this in one way or another, because this is what it means to be truly alive and in relationship – no mask, no bravado, no nothing… As you reach out through “Heart Failure to Harvard” you provide not only insight into what is hapening in your world but you give us an opportunity (no a GIFT) to pause and think about what is important in life and it strenghtens both you and us. You have been a MOST precious gift in my and my family’s life and to all those who have come to know and love you. Your acheivements have been many, but I would say even more importantly, your impact is everlasting. You’ve always had a heart of gold, and your blog is another way that you get to share it with the world.
And like Ali said “The world needs our Jilly”. And dare I say – I need our Jilly!
Chelli-man