Feeling overwhelmed this week. Probably because I had rehab, followed by a counseling appointment, followed by an appointment with my Electro-physiologist (EP) all on the same day (Thursday). This amounted to 6 hours in the hospital. So, yah, I guess anyone would be overwhelmed. No big news, really. Just alot of medical-ese all at once…. and I am tired. So very tired. Sometimes I feel
life can just f@ck off already so greatful to be alive.
I find that this is how it often is. Alot of things all at once – appointments, tests. Makes my head spin a little bit with the enormity of it all. — I have heart failure. I am very sick. I need a heart transplant. — This is heavy shit. Then I realize that there is nothing I can do so I feed my cats, face time my husband, listen to an audiobook, go to sleep. On ‘good’ days I have a coffee with a friend, and maybe even go into the office and do my best to try and work. At least, I try.
That is the point of it all, really. To try. To get up in the morning and continue to do what you can to live a normal life. But the most important thing is to get up. If this is the only lesson I learn from all of this I think it is a worthy one. If you give up the night before the least you can do is get up and try again in the morning.